"Life," for Lack of a Better Title

Okay, so I'm going to try to keep this blog up, I really am. I have 5,000 other writing projects and jobs and internships and crappy reality tv shows to keep up with, so it might be kind of difficult. But I will try. Anyway.

Ever since I was like...7 years old, I've gone through these mini existential crises every few months, and as I've gotten older, it's just grown worse and worse. I just feel like life is going by so FAST. Time just keeps whizzing and whizzing, and suddenly another month or year has gone by and is lost forever. Then another year, and another and it just keeps going and I want so badly to be able to freeze life and catch my bearings. I remember being seven and thinking, almost hysterically, about how I was already in second grade and would never be in first grade again in my life. It was over FOREVER and would never, ever happen again. And soon second grade would be over, and then elementary school, and before long I would be in college, and not too long after that I would grow old and die. I would DIE, and I would never experience life again. Not ever.

It became worse when I was in middle school and realized that my childhood was over. And then time picked up even faster, and now I'm essentially an adult. I'm so happy that I'm young and healthy, but I know that I'll wake up one day in my 30s and wonder, "Where did my youth go?" It goes by so fucking fast, I can't take it. But I'm very grateful to be alive, and a human, and a free U.S. middle class citizen with relatively few problems or obstacles standing in my way. I just feel as though I'm not truly living my life, and I've been aware of this for quite some time, so I'm not sure why I can't turn things around and start living. It's really frustrating. I want to live in and enjoy the present, but for some reason, I just can't. I mean, obviously I love life and am happy--I just don't think I'm making the most of it. But I want to. I really, really want to.

I sometimes just can't shake the feeling that my entire life is one big illusion...or dream...

Ummmm

Okay, so that last post was an ENORMOUS FAILURE. Gr8. Ahaha I'm so bad at this, I really don't know what to write about! Oh well...I guess this will just end up being yet another of my failed ventures. Unless I experience a stroke of brilliance in the near future. Le sigh.

Gather Round for a Story...

Yo.

Okay, so I've decided to post one of my short stories here in installments. I'll post a new installment each Sunday (Story Sunday, if you will) with links to previous installments. I know nobody would ever, ever do this, but please don't plagiarize anything I put here. Every piece of fiction that I will post on this blog has been shown/submitted/published elsewhere, so it would really not be smart to try and take it. Okay. Anyway, here's the first installment of a little story called "The Tudor Mansion." Without further ado,

PART ONE:

Glenda Jones sat at her desk and gazed glassy-eyed at her fake leather watch. From the outside, she appeared to be enjoying a pleasant daydream. In reality, however, she was in a state of utter agony. As each second slithered past, her suffering grew more and more intense—so intense, in fact, that it took all her self-restraint not to jump out the window.

Never mind that she was on the ground floor.

Glenda continued staring at her watch in agony, her toes writhing in her flats. 6:12 and 24 seconds…26 seconds…32 seconds…34 seconds…Come on, come on…

“Glenda, hun!” a voice chirped from above.

Glenda kept her eyes trained steadily on her watch. Its stable, rhythmic tocks were the only thing keeping her sane. Sane being a relative term in this instance.

Persisting, the voice continued. “Glenda! Yoo-hoo! Doing all right down there?”

Glenda sighed heavily and dragged her eyes upward--Kate, a thirty-something blonde with maroon talons, was looming over her. “I’m doing just great, Kate. How about yourself?”

“Oh, I’m great! Listen, I know you’re swamped, but I wanted to ask a quick favor.”

“Yes?”

Kate strode into the cubicle and perched on Glenda’s desk. “You know Sue’s, don’t you? That new place downtown?”

“Yes.” Glenda’s eyes migrated downwards as she recommenced monitoring her watch (6:13 and 10 seconds…12 seconds…13 seconds).

“Wonderful. It’s a fun little spot, isn’t it? Anyway, the gang’s heading there tonight—in a few minutes, actually. And we know it’s not really your scene. Right?”

Glenda remained silent, staring fixedly at her wrist. 21 seconds, 22 seconds, 24 seconds…

“Glenda! Hello?! Am I right?”

“Right, Kate. You’re right.”

“Great.” Kate flashed a quick smile. “Anyway, could you finish a report for me? Harem dumped it on me right as I was leaving—soulless pig—and it will take two seconds to do.”

Glenda mumbled something inaudible about “Mother in town,” and “Tuna casserole” before trailing off listlessly.

Shit.

“Glenda, Glenda, Glenda.” Kate’s thin lips broke into a slow Cheshire grin. “I understand how busy you are. But as far as promotion goes…Harem would be very impressed with your initiative.”

Glenda’s eyes trailed upwards again. As far as not being evil goes…Harem would be very impressed with your actually doing your job.

Kate grinned widely in response. “So you’ll do it? Help a girl out?”

“Yeah, okay.” Glenda shrank from Kate’s looming smirk. “I’ll do it.”

“Great. Thanks a ton, Glen.” Kate beamed and entrapped Glenda in a bony embrace. “See you tomorrow!”

“Bye,” Glenda muttered in a strangled breath, flushed from the assault. “See you tomorrow.”

Fall Looks

Here are a few of my favorite looks (all taken from Style.com). My overall aesthetic is generally pretty colorful and I tend to favor youthful shapes like bubble skirts and cigarette jeans. This fall, however, I want to make my aesthetic a little darker--but still keep everything young and fresh. I love Alexander Wang because his clothes are young and edgy, but are still very mature--young doesn't necessarily mean bright colors or outrageous shapes. It can be dark and streamlined, but still provocative. Onwards:

Burberry Prorsum



Alexander McQueen


Alexander Wang



3.1 Phillip Lim



I'm really not ready to grow up yet, but I am ready to start dressing with maturity and restraint. I'm also going through one of those phases where I hate everything in my closet and want to throw it all away and just start over. That would be nice.

Second Post...Will It Live Up To That Incredible First One?

You know it's a bad sign when you've just started a blog--I hate that word, by the way, I think a lot of people do--and you've already run out of things to say. So the next few posts might be a bit, um, weird...just to warn you. Sorry.

So I guess I'll be writing primarily about fashion, literature, film and tv...then occasionally I'll post some of my fiction (short stories and plays) in installments. But I've just decided what I'm going to write about, and it falls under none of the topics named above. Whoops.

I've recently become kind of obsessed with Myers-Briggs typology, which builds on psychiatrist Carl Jung's work. The Myers-Briggs system suggests that everyone in the world fits into one of 16 distinct psychological types. Examples of the types include Performer (ESFP), Healer (INFP), Crafter (ISTP) and Teacher (ENFJ).

Here's are some links explaining more about it: http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/the-16-mbti-types.asp
http://www.friesian.com/types.htm

And here's a link to the quiz which determines which type you are: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

I love this stuff because I'm obsessed with myself. Any activity that lets me read about my personality traits and how special I am is my idea of a good time. Apparently, I'm an INTJ (Introverted, iNtuitive,Thinking, Judging) or The Scientist/Mastermind. Not really true because I'm an idiot who's horrible at science, but whatever.

So do you think there's any truth to this? Or do you think people just can't be put into little boxes? What type are you?

And just so this post isn't too boring...this video is extremely trippy. Stare at the center and look away at the end...

Mama Mia! Got to See-a...it.

Okay, so I'm really bad at rhyming/puns. You may not have even recognized the title as an attempt at a pun, in which case I'm really in trouble. But anyway, I saw Mama Mia! this past weekend with my grandmother and absolutely loved it. I came out of the theater in this bizarrely joyful mood, like I just wanted to go fall in love and transform into Amanda Seyfried and sing ABBA songs with anonymous Greek villagers all day.

Which I do.

Anyway, Amanda Seyfried is officially my new idol. I tell people this and they look at me strangely (possibly because it's a very pathetic and creepy thing to say), but I just can't help it. She's gorgeous, has an incredible voice, and is a pretty talented actor.

So yeah, maybe Mama Mia! isn't quality cinema...but it doesn't try to be, which makes it all the better. An example of this would be that instead of trying to be serious and groundbreaking, the film embraces its campy nature (and subsequently Meryl Streep's outfits involve a lot of white spandex). The songs are extremely infectious, and people enjoy themselves, which is definitely a good thing.

This morning on NPR while promoting Stepbrothers, John C. Reilly was discussing doing comedy versus more serious work like what he's done in the past. He said that we're living in a time where it just makes sense to do comedy. He meant that the world is going crazy--Will Ferrell chimed with a snide remark about George Bush pretending to be from Texas--so doing work that's a little wacky seems very logical.

But I also think we're living on the brink of a somewhat difficult and possibly scary time, and comedy/light-hearted entertainment is really important. Just think about the Great Depression, when everyone spent their pocket money on going to the movies. Obviously this isn't the Great Depression, but escapism is still very powerful. I think musicals and even Bollywood-influenced entertainment are going to start having a larger and larger presence in Hollywood as the years go by.
And now, a clip from Mama Mia! of the lovely Amanda Seyfried who, one again, I think is amazing.